Confessions of an Idllyic Mind

It's me again..

No not gonna introduce another fave song of mine. Just reporting on what m feeling today. Today is a beautiful beautiful day. It's so sunny. Yeah i can hear some of you muttering "what so good bout that?" Try staying here where the pass few days have been below 20C and the nitez are below 10C. Today is a fantastic day for laundry, tanning and shopping! But I can cancel tanning cause i'm already very brown. And as for shopping, I'm too broke. So I only have the laundry option. Very pleased with the amount of laundry am able to complete. Cooked a kick-ass-lunch today. Udon in miso soup with eggs. yumm yumm. For dessert a very sweet apple. Life cant get better than this. So i started thinking of events that has happened previuosly to me that could have robbed me of the joy of experiencing the joy in my heart now.

I'm very blessed. My parents are still here and very much together on planet earth. I have a family that loves me and supports me a lot. However it has not always been so smooth sailing. Everybody's families are bound to have their own battle domestica and so have mine. I believe that God has and is playing a major part in holding my family together. I have my own set of issues and tissues too. Matters with friends, ex-boyfriends, relationship issues, emotional conflict etc etc.. It was NOT easy to let go of feelings of hurt that i have harbored in me but i have this habit. Whenever i get very very upset i just sit down and cry and cry and cry. The i look at the amount of tissue and tears i have on my pillow, t-shirt, towel, pants hehe.. and i start thinking. What is SO big of an issue that cause you to have to be in such a pathetic condition that you are in? What is your problems compared to the people that are in the warring countries? Can your ninnipoo problems be compared to the problems of someone losing their family members, losing their belongings, starving to death etc? Oh sure someone dumped you. Is that SO big of a deal till you wanna kill yourself, hurt yourself, fling yourself into the river? Mind you, its not a very pleasing experience of slitting your wrists. I know cause i tried that. And i got a shock of my life when the blood started Spurting out. And it hurts like crap after that. Drowning to death isnt that wonderful and easy too. No i;ve not tried that. Will nvr do. I;m a very vain person. I wanna die looking pretty. Really pretty. And a drowned corpse is NOT a very attractive thing to look at. Think about that. Sure it's fine to cry. Not good to harbor feelings in you. So find a good friend, a bucket and a mop and start pouring your heart out. After that just go on with life! There is SO much to offer out there. Have you fed sharks b4? Have u swam with a dolphin b4? Have you earned so much money till you can buy 14 LV bags at one go? Have you been to Honolulu b4? I dont think so right. So go on living and fulfilling your dreams!! Stop being such a sissy that only sits in the room that goes "oOo no one loves me. I just wanna die. It;s the end of the world for me..." BOO to you. No one loves you cause you are portraying a side of you that refuses to be loved. No one is loving you cause you are not loving anyone else. No one is loving you cause you are not LOVING YOURSELF!

Look, I'm no Oprah. I'm no Dr Phil. I dont even study psychology. But i do know one thing.. I LOVE MYSELF and the ALMIGHTY that has created me. Smaller thighs and smaller boobs would make me love myself more but besides that i'm perfectly happy with the way i am. No Tom, Dick & Harry or Jane whatever can tell me different. Some people might find all that i have just said very offending but Hey! This is my blog and i'm gonna write what i feel like it. Dont like it? Leave me a comment. Hate me or love me, I will still be ME!

Wanna say a big thanx to all the people that has helped me go through the worse times in my life. I owe everything to you guys and to God. Start loving youselves people!!

MUACKS