Confessions of an Idllyic Mind

Here is a question to all the gentlemen out there? WHERE ART THOU????

I’ve come to discover that there are no/nil/nah-dah gentlemen in Malaysia. Well perhaps I have not seen one or experience the hospitality of one before. I would not have written about this if it weren’t for the @#$%&* guy I met this morning. What happened was, I was waiting for the elevator to arrive in my working building. The lift finally came and it was a full load except for 2 more spaces in it in which my svelte + petite colleague could easily slot in and even though I’m much larger in size, I could still go in. As I was about to step in full of confidence that I would not overload the lift, that @#$%&* guy in the lift decided that I would jeopardize everyone that was in the lift’s lives by overloading the lift with my immense weight, thereby causing the lift to fall and everyone to die tragically in there before their time was up. So he did the one heroic deed that he thought would automatically land him a space beyond the Pearly Gates. He pressed the “Doors Close” button. So the doors nearly squished my head together, which could/would cause a roar of laughter, which would hurt my ego very much, hence triggering a new phobia to arise of doors, hence causing me a fear of stepping out the doors of my house, hence causing me to lose my job, hence causing me to lose my source of income, hence causing my dad to disown me because I’m a loser that could never contribute to the family, hence causing my eligibility of marriage to be virtually non-existent, hence causing me to be alone+homeless+in state of mental depression (takes a deep breath) Therefore in the very end causing me to die a very tragic+lonely+virgin+early death. I was quite shocked. Why would anyone want to close a door at my face. Am I that unattractive? I’m very confident that I’m way better looking than all of the women in the lift (Pardon me, its my ego speaking. Bad ego! Bad!) So when he decided to open the doors again I let out a very loud “ITS OK. YOU CAN CLOSE THE DOORS IF YOU SOOOO WANT TO.”

What a twit. Classless, Uncultured, Unrefined, Uneducated, Egoistical swine of a man. To call him a jackass would be an abomination to all the jackasses in the world.