Had a lot to let out but somehow as my fingers are about to hit the keyboard, they're left hanging in mid air. There are just so many stuff squished in my head now i cant let it all out. I'm just so sick and tired of work. Feeling my absolutely crappiest today. I dont get it. I just dont get it. I try. God knows i try so hard. I push. I search. I call. I persuade. I sweet talk. I hide my uneasiness, my crappiness, my i-dont-give-a-shitness whether your company saves on the bloody tax or not, my moodiness, my depressed soul, my faltered wings, my bruised ego .. I hide all this behind a mask of smiles everyone is so used to see every freaking day of the week. There is hostility in the air of calm and muhibbah-ness in the workplace. Did not feel it in the past but i do now. I've learned to know today that when human greed and need for money/recognition can grow to a point to where aquaintances and friends dont matter anymore. The basic human ethics are flung out of the window. Well, this just further highlights the phrase "its a dog eat dog world". You gotta be ahead to BE ahead. You gotta defend yourself. You gotta work hard to beat the rest to the juiciest piece of the steak.
At times like these i really wish i could just leave it all behind.
Pleaing for a moment of sanity . . .
0 La-di-da's ...:
Post a Comment