Confessions of an Idllyic Mind

The day has finally arrived. I am now officially 23. Born on the 27th of October 1984, approximately 5.45 a.m., weighing 8 pounds. This year's birthday was a far cry from the birthday i had last year. Have been celebrating 2 rounds of birthdays in a row in Perth. Kinda different to be back here celebrating it for a change.

23 started with pancakes. Loads of pancakes. Me and my ChiMui gang went to Paddingtons in The Curve for a pancake fiesta. Stayed till the clock struck midnite to offciate my b'day. Thank you girls! Hope we do that more often. Has been quite some time since we gathered like that. Went for bible study this morn at Susan's. Had a lovely surprise when Jessica came in with a black forest cake for me *yummies*. Feels great to start the birthday with a prayer of blessings from both of the girls. Feeling so extremely blessed. The celebration continues with Calvin taking me out to 1U for lunch and 2nd round of bday cake (unique one) in Bakerzin. The came home for dinner with the family.

My takes on this year's b'day:

- As i mentioned earlier, its different. VERY different. But nice. Feels good to be home and to be celebrating with people that means a lot to me. Feeling the warmth and love ...

Pictures

Cake #1 - Blackforest - Courtesy of Susan & Jessica

The birthday girl making a wish

Birthday girl and Jessica

2 models and 1 siow char boh

Siow char boh #2

B'day cake #2 - Bakerzin' Tapas - Strawberry fondue, caramel & chocolate ice-cream, creme caramelle - Courtesy of Calvin Cheong

Vain char boh

B'day cake #3 - Secret Recipe - Strawberry cheesecake - Courtesy of Calvin (again)



" Thank you Lord for giving me another year to be able to enjoy the blessings and plans you have in stored for me. I believe that You love me and You know me best. Continue to be with me constantly Lord to protect and to guide me in every circumstance. I pray for Your abundant blessings to be poured upon my life and into the lives of the people I love so dearly. May You also bless with good health so that I may live long to serve You in whatever ways I can. All this i ask in Jesus's most blessed name, AMEN!!!! "

I thought i would not have the guts to

My Heavenly Daddy was there for me

Finally gave it a shot

It happened

Thank you Lord for creating a pathway for me

I see the light now


I see the light

Current Mood: Super-duper-hyper-upset + annoyed

Writing this from the office. I can hardly suppress my loath and disgust towards the systems that goes on here at my current place of employment. I feel like I’m putting on a monkey/clown/dolphin/puppet show as a crowd pleaser act and when I go round collecting the coins, the people walk away. Everyday single day I’m calling mindless twits that labels themselves Financial Controllers, Group Financial Officers, Head of Finance bla bla bla .. but in actual fact, they just sit there in their offices, handing off all their twitty shits to the people directly below them. And yet I have to go .. “Ohh .. a very good morning to you Mr/Ms ___. How are you doing today? Busy day? As usual la hah .. How was your weekend? Had fun with the family? Where did you go? Ohh that sounds great!” And what I get is a few grunts of approval and some courtesy laugh. What the crap do you take me as? I’m every part as human as you are! Having that certification that qualifies you to earn more bucks than me doesn’t translate to you being more superior than I am! Qualification of a developing nation but behavior of a third world country inhabitant. Shame on you and the set of parents that brought you up!!!! You you, depleting brain cells, numskull, spineless, rude, no manners, uneducated, uncivilized baboon like twit!!!!!!!!!! I think I’ve just insulted the baboons by calling you a baboon.

ARGHHHHHHHHH …

Ok back to the company I work for. YOU OWE ME MONEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What else do you expect from me? I’m a fresh grad that has minimal experience but I know I’m very capable of doing far greater things than the circus/freak show that I’m performing in now. Why do you have to further squeeze me of my last remaining peanuts? The bank earns millions a year and you owe me of my 3 figures? What is the bloody logic in that? I’m down to my very last nut and yet you want to strip me bare. If I was a squirrel I will definitely die and decompose this winter cause I have no nuts in my storage hole. Instead I would have to forage the forest floors with my puny bare hands scourging for scraps dead in the middle of winter till my hands bleed or fall off from hypothermia. PATHETIC-NESS!!!!!!!!!! I spent over RM 200 at one go in a classy Japanese restaurant trying to please the stuck up people that are my clients, stuff them so full of food in hopes that they will give me favor but in return what do I get? An outgoing from my father’s bank accounts and no in coming from this stupid institution called the bank that I’m working for. And better still. The clients still acting as snooty as before towards me.

WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING HERE?? WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT???????

Why am i betraying my own ethics and integrity to please a bunch of slimeballs which i dont want to associate myself with anyways??????????

If they could pay me for every tear that I have shed when I started till present, I would be a millionaire by now.

A free bird leaps on the back
Of the wind and floats downstream
Till the current ends and dips his wing
In the orange suns rays
And dares to claim the sky.

But a BIRD that stalks down his narrow cage
Can seldom see through his bars of rage
His wings are clipped and his feet are tied
So he opens his throat to sing.

The caged bird sings with a fearful trill
Of things unknown but longed for still
And his tune is heard on the distant hill for
The caged bird sings of freedom.

The free bird thinks of another breeze
And the trade winds soft through
The sighing trees
And the fat worms waiting on a dawn-bright
Lawn and he names the sky his own.

But a caged BIRD stands on the grave of dreams
His shadow shouts on a nightmare scream
His wings are clipped and his feet are tied
So he opens his throat to sing.

The caged bird sings with
A fearful trill of things unknown
But longed for still and his
Tune is heard on the distant hill
For the caged bird sings of freedom.

Had a good start to the Hari Raya weekend last Friday. Sherry "SO CUTEEEEEEEEEE" invited half of the AmInvestments crew to her church song+drinks thinghy. Sorry didnt know what the event was called. But its was a relaxed evening, sitting on cushions, sipping tea listening to songs .. basically just chillin' (in ghetto terms). Everything was great except that it was too cold. keke. Was shivering at the end of the evening. Okay fast forward to Saturday. Daddy took me n mom shopping so I managed to squeeze one pair of Pierre Cardin proper proper but still stylish court shoes from him. Mua ha ha . . . Was on sale ok! My one pair equals to his 2 pairs. Oh well... That's the perils of having a daughter.

Fast forward again.. Its Sunday! But thank God no work tomorrow. Welt to the Pavilion just now. It is EXPENSIVE. Food? EXPENSIVE. Clothes? EXPENSIVE. But i still ate - KFC (cheapest food u'll find there). And i still shopped. Giordano Concepts (the cheaper end of the shops there). Bought myself a gorgeous black kimono wrap around top. Felt real good cause there was a good looking shop assistant giving me guidance and a HANDS ON lesson on how to tie the wrap around top. Why i need assistance? Cause i don't know how to tie la .. *Innocent eye blinking* He got his arms all over my waist *kekeke*. But actually paiseh cause my muffin top was hanging out so obvious. And I think he is gay. But overall, Pavilion was a really refreshing change to the malls we have around here. Definitely way better than The Gardens. But parking was a problem. Weekend rate is Rm 3 Per hour. But if you spend Rm 100 and above on a single receipt in any store you'll get 2 hours worth of free parking.

So that was my weekend in a nut shell. I know this is not the kinda post that I will usually post but I'm running out of topics to write about. Any ideas anyone?

Pictures galore . . .


The stage

The 3 stooges - Sherry, me and Susan

Me and Suzie (looking like she is high on something)

Sideshot of Sherry gazing lovingly at Anthony-the-boyfriend awwwww . . .

Sideshot of Andrew and his glasses



Me after we got out of the Pavilion. Young enough to get a balloon.. kekeke

Glad to report that I'm feeling much better. Physically and mentally. I guess there is a time to sit and whine and think about things like fate, destiny, regrets. And there is a time to move on. This is my time of moving on. Good on me I'm finally getting some growth hormone induced into my own head. No I'm not drunk. I have this thing/love affair/friendship with self-pity that I'm really starting to loathe myself for. "Ooo poor me .. Not living the life my other friends have." "Poor me.. Still single and living with the parents." Enough is enough! Its time i said Shut Up to my own self. Shut up and Grow up! says Amanda Liew to Amanda Liew. Alright thats enough of a mental check for myself.

Ok .. What else.. Oh yeah .. Went to The Gardens on Saturday nite. I thought the place was rather poorly done up. The floors were dirty and not properly cemented. You can see the tiles are not matched. Its more like a 'hurry up and open before Raya' shopping center. Other than that the shops were pretty nice. Some unfamiliar brands which is a good thing if you ask me. I always think that our Malaysian malls are too generic. Its like like hmm a Tiramisu cake. You will definitely have to have stuff like cheese, espresso, cocoa in it. Likewise our Malaysian malls will definitely have stores like Vincci, Padini, Giordano in it. B O R I N G ! So The Gardens = Something different. I went berserk in Robbinsons. But then be cautioned. To all peanut earners out there (me) this is not the place for you (& me). I repeat. This is NOT the place for you. GO in look see look see enough. Tried on a top which I'm gonna collect a donation for later on. It was gorjas! Gorjas! But costs hell of a lot for the little amount of material used to make it. Sighs .......

Dont know why I suddenly felt like writing about the poor little girl Nurin that was brutally murdered not long ago. Cant help but to feel sad that she will nvr be able to grow up to enjoy the girlie pleasures of having a frappucino with her girl friends or going to a prom night. Whats even sadder is people are becoming sicker and sicker each day. Who in the right mind would stuff vegetables into a little girl? I just dont get it. She is just a little girl for crying out loud. For me 2 parties ought to be shot in this case. The killer (DUH) and the parents. Just got me so pissed as I was reading the papers. What kind of a parent are you to let your kid walk to a pasar malam unattended and unsupervised. "but u dont understand. we nvr knew this would happen. the pasar malam was only a short distance away." Look here. To me there are only 2 ways a child's death could not have been prevented. 1) Inborn illnesses/deformity. 2) Natural disasters (earthquakes/fires/flood). Other than that the parents or family members should take full responsibility of whatever that happens to that child. She wants to go to the psr malam? Then go with her. You need to cook because the other kids will starve? Bring them along and get them a goreng pisang while you're there. I'm sure they can withstand if the psr malam is that near your hse. You are tired/busy/paralysed and she really insists on going out? Break her legs or lock her up. Hearing her cry and throw a tantrum is much better than standing in the cold morgue looking down at the remains of your daughter which you have nurtured and cared for since she came out of your womb. Worst still .. She died in such a way. How can you ever forgive yourself? Dont say irresponsible things such as "takdir Tuhan". What a bull crap thing to say. So you took her for granted and you say takdir Tuhan??? Shame on you.

Whatever I just said was from a single, not a mother yet point of view. This i believe teaches us a lesson to never ever take what God has given you for granted ever. But those are just purely my thoughts. Whoever that disagrees with whatever I just said should just stop reading my blog and get their own one. Fair enough? Its my blog so I get to rave ok? MUA HA HA HA


Alrighty.. Feeling sleepy now.


Peace out