Confessions of an Idllyic Mind

Hi bloggie ...

Finally i'm penning since my dreadful exams .. Just finished my final finalest paper today. And sadly to say i didnt do good at all. AT ALL. It's all up to God now. Gonna pray hard that i can manage to scrape through. Was devastated. After the exam i just ran out, hid in a corner, put on my sunnies and cried my heart out. Called my mom for comfort and that made me cry even more. To emphasize how the paper was, i cried all the way home even in the bus. Oh well. Didnt calm my nerves but i've decided to surrender all to God now. Only He can help me now. Let's just leave that as that.

Just came out of the tub. Had myself a about 1 hour bath just now. Took a soak in the tub with my mp3 player blasted out loud and with my Glamour magazine. Ahhh ... Life ... I needed some pampering after what i went through today. Sorry no pictures of my x-rated soak in the tub. keke. As i was soaking in the tub i was just thinking back on the series of events that lead me here. To Perth. You know what, things just dont happen by chance. How on earth did i make the decision to go to metropolitan college? How on earth did i manage to come to Perth even? I never never thought i would be living out on my own, in a foreign country, living with a landlord from Macedonia and soaking in his tub now even. It's just so weird that this is all happening. I always thought i would be stuck in malaysia, maybe study in UTAR, stay at home till i'm old enough to marry to move out. But i'm actually making grown up decisions for myself now. Making decisions about my PR, finally taking hold of my own spiritual life. That was a big step. But there is still so much ambiguity having over my head right now. It's weighing against my chest like some overgrown tumor permanently stuck on my back. Sometimes i just dont know what i want. Maybe i do but the road to achieve looks impossible and i'm just too afraid to attempt it even. Just praying for a way out. There would be one I'm sure. That day someone in church was saying that the blessings that God has instore for us are there already. We just have to wait for it to fall into place.

I'm hoping that my life
would fall into place now.

Without me falling apart first ...